Go To A Beach Town On Labor Day

Labor Day is the last breath of summer. It is the weekend the culture has agreed to set aside, and the setting-aside is the thing that makes it available, and the available is the thing that makes it yours, if you choose to take it. This book is about taking it — about going to a beach town on Labor Day, with your family or on your own, and the taking is the thing that this book is for.

The beach town on Labor Day is a specific thing, and the specificity is the thing that makes it worth a book. It is not the beach town in July, which is crowded and hot and full of the people who had the time and the money to go in July. It is not the beach town in January, which is empty and cold and full of the people who live there year-round. It is the beach town in the first weekend of September, when the summer is ending but has not ended, when the crowds are thinning but have not thinned, when the water is still warm but the air has a coolness in the morning that tells you the season is turning, and the turning is the thing that makes the weekend feel like a gift, and the gift is the thing that this book is about.

Who This Book Is For

It is for the person who has worked through the summer and who needs the rest, and who has been putting the rest off, and who needs a reason to stop putting it off. It is for the family that has not been together enough, and that needs the time, and that needs the place, and that needs the permission to take it. It is for the person who is alone, and who wants the solitude that is chosen rather than imposed, and who wants the beach town to be the place where the chosen solitude is had. It is for the person who has never done this and wants to do it well, and for the person who has done it many times and wants to do it better. It is for the clinician who works with people who are burned out, and who needs a concrete, practical recommendation that is more than "take some time for yourself," and the beach town on Labor Day is the recommendation, and the recommendation, made well, is the thing this book provides.

What This Book Is Not

This book is not a guide to the best beach towns, ranked and rated. It is not a list of the hotels and the restaurants and the attractions. It is not a budget guide or a luxury guide or a family guide or a solo guide, though it speaks to all of those. It is a guide to the experience — to the why and the how and the what-to-do and the what-to-bring-back — and the experience is the thing that matters, and the experience, had well, is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, regardless of which beach town you choose.

This book is also not a substitute for the planning that the trip requires, and the planning is the thing that chapter three is about, and the about is the thing that makes the trip go smoothly, and the smoothly is the thing that makes the rest possible, because the trip that is poorly planned is the trip that is stressful, and the stressful is the opposite of the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for.

The Six Chapters, Named

The book is built around six chapters, and the six, together, are the work of the trip.

The first chapter — this one — is the why. It is about what the beach town on Labor Day is, and why it matters, and the understanding of the why is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, because the trip taken without the why is the trip that is just a trip, and the just-a-trip is the thing that does not give the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for.

The second chapter is the choosing. It is about finding the right beach town — the one that fits you, and your family, or your solitude — and the choosing is the thing that makes the trip fit, and the fit is the thing that makes the rest possible, because the beach town that does not fit is the beach town that disappoints, and the disappointment is the thing that prevents the rest.

The third chapter is the preparation. It is about planning the trip — the booking, the packing, the driving, the arriving — and the preparation is the thing that makes the trip go smoothly, and the smoothly is the thing that makes the rest available, because the trip that is chaotic is the trip that is exhausting, and the exhausting is the opposite of the rest.

The fourth chapter is the presence. It is about being there fully — the putting-down of the phone, the stepping-out of the schedule, the letting-go of the work — and the presence is the thing that makes the trip restful, because the body at the beach with the mind at the desk is the body that is not resting, and the not-resting is the thing that wastes the trip, and the wasting is the thing the presence prevents.

The fifth chapter is the activities. It is about what to do and how to rest — the walking, the swimming, the reading, the eating, the doing-nothing — and the activities are the things that fill the time, and the filling is the thing that makes the time good, and the good is the thing the trip is for.

The sixth chapter is the return. It is about bringing the calm home — the keeping of the rest, the integrating of the experience, the not-losing of the thing the trip gave — and the return is the thing that makes the trip last, and the lasting is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing the whole book is for.

A Word on the Word "Relax"

The title uses the word "relax," and the word matters. The relax this book is about is not the collapsing. The collapsing — the falling-into-bed, the numbing-out, the scrolling-until-the-eyes-hurt — is not relaxation. It is exhaustion, and the exhaustion is the thing that the work produces, and the work, done long enough, makes the exhaustion feel like the only kind of rest available, and the feeling is wrong. The relax is not the collapsing. The relax is the restoring — the active, chosen, intentional restoring of the body and the mind and the spirit, and the restoring is the thing that the beach town, done well, provides, and the providing is the thing the book is about. Begin.

Not every beach town is the right beach town, and the not-every is the thing that makes the choosing matter, and the choosing is the thing that makes the trip fit, and the fit is the thing that makes the rest possible. This chapter is about the choosing — the finding of the beach town that fits you, and your family, or your solitude — and the finding is the thing that the trip depends on, because the beach town that does not fit is the beach town that disappoints, and the disappointment is the thing that prevents the rest.

What "Fits" Means

A beach town fits when it matches what you need the trip to do, and the matching is the thing that makes the trip work. The trip that is for the family needs a beach town that welcomes the family — that has the shallow water and the gentle waves and the boardwalk and the ice cream and the things that make the children happy, and the happy children are the thing that makes the parents able to rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for. The trip that is for the solitude needs a beach town that welcomes the solitude — that has the quiet stretch and the empty morning and the café where you can sit alone with a book and a coffee and not be disturbed, and the not-disturbed is the thing that makes the solitude possible, and the solitude is the thing the trip is for.

The fit is not about the beach town being the best. It is about the beach town being the right one for you, and the rightness is the thing that the choosing is about, and the choosing is the thing that this chapter is for.

The Questions to Ask

The choosing is done by the asking of questions, and the questions, asked honestly, are the things that narrow the field, and the narrowing is the thing that makes the choosing possible. The questions are these:

The first question is: who is going? The answer determines the kind of beach town. The family with young children needs the beach town with the calm water and the amenities. The couple needs the beach town with the restaurants and the walks. The solo traveler needs the beach town with the quiet and the safety. The group of friends needs the beach town with the space and the things to do. The who is the thing that determines the what, and the what is the thing that determines the where.

The second question is: what do you need the trip to do? The answer determines the pace. The person who needs to rest needs the beach town that does not require doing — the beach town where the doing-nothing is the doing, and the doing-nothing is the thing that the beach town allows. The person who needs to reconnect needs the beach town that facilitates the reconnecting — the beach town with the shared activities and the shared meals and the shared time. The person who needs to think needs the beach town that allows the thinking — the beach town with the long walks and the quiet and the space. The what-you-need is the thing that determines the pace, and the pace is the thing that determines the experience, and the experience is the thing the trip is for.

The third question is: how far can you go? The answer determines the geography. The Labor Day weekend is three days, and three days is not long, and the not-long is the thing that makes the driving-time matter, because the beach town that is eight hours away is the beach town that takes two days of driving and leaves one day for the being-there, and the one-day is not enough, and the not-enough is the thing that makes the trip feel rushed, and the rushed is the opposite of the rest. The beach town that is three hours away is the beach town that takes half a day of driving and leaves two and a half days for the being-there, and the two-and-a-half is the thing that makes the trip feel spacious, and the spacious is the thing the rest requires.

The fourth question is: what is your budget? The answer determines the options, and the options, narrowed by the budget, are the things that make the choosing real. The budget is not a limitation. It is a filter, and the filter is the thing that makes the choosing easier, because the beach towns that are outside the budget are the beach towns that are removed from the consideration, and the removing is the thing that makes the field smaller, and the smaller is the thing that makes the choosing possible.

The Kinds of Beach Towns

The beach towns are not all the same, and the not-same is the thing that makes the choosing matter. There are kinds, and the kinds, known, are the things that make the choosing informed.

The first kind is the boardwalk town. It is the town with the amusement and the arcades and the cotton candy and the crowds. It is the town for the family that wants the activity and the children that want the fun and the parents who are willing to trade the quiet for the happy children. It is not the town for the solitude, and the not-for-the-solitude is the thing that makes the choosing matter.

The second kind is the quiet town. It is the town with the long beach and the few people and the rental houses and the nothing-to-do-but-be-there. It is the town for the rest and the solitude and the family that wants the time together without the distraction. It is not the town for the activity-seekers, and the not-for-the-activity is the thing that makes the choosing matter.

The third kind is the historic town. It is the town with the old buildings and the shops and the restaurants and the walks and the culture. It is the town for the couple and the thinker and the person who wants the beach and the more-than-the-beach. It is the town that combines the rest with the interest, and the combination is the thing that makes it the right town for the person who cannot do nothing, and the cannot-do-nothing is the thing that the historic town addresses.

The fourth kind is the remote town. It is the town that is far from the city and the highway and the crowds, the town that requires the effort to reach, and the effort is the thing that makes the reaching feel earned, and the earned is the thing that makes the being-there feel special. It is the town for the person who wants the escape to be real, and the real is the thing that the distance provides, and the distance is the thing that the remote town is.

The Labor Day Factor

The choosing is shaped by the Labor Day, and the Labor Day is the thing that makes the choosing specific. The Labor Day is the end of the season, and the end is the thing that makes some beach towns better and some worse. The beach town that is a summer town — the town that closes after Labor Day — is the town that is having its last weekend, and the last weekend is the thing that makes the town both lively and melancholy, and the lively-and-melancholy is the thing that some people love and some people do not. The beach town that is a year-round town — the town that continues after Labor Day — is the town that is settling into its off-season, and the settling is the thing that makes the town quieter and cheaper and more available, and the quieter-and-cheaper is the thing that the rest benefits from.

The choosing, done with the Labor Day factor in mind, is the choosing that produces the trip that fits, and the fit is the thing that makes the rest possible, and the rest is the thing the trip is for. The next chapter is the preparation — the planning that makes the trip go smoothly — and the smoothly is the thing that makes the rest available, because the trip that is chaotic is the trip that is exhausting, and the exhausting is the opposite of the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for.

The preparation is the thing that makes the trip go smoothly, and the smoothly is the thing that makes the rest available, because the trip that is chaotic is the trip that is exhausting, and the exhausting is the opposite of the rest. This chapter is about the preparation — the booking, the packing, the driving, the arriving — and the preparation, done well, is the thing that makes the trip the thing it is meant to be.

The Booking

The booking is the first act of the preparation, and the first act is the thing that sets the tone, and the tone is the thing that the rest of the trip follows from. The booking, done early, is the booking that gets the good place, and the good place is the thing that makes the trip comfortable, and the comfortable is the thing that makes the rest possible. The booking, done late, is the booking that gets the leftover place, and the leftover place is the thing that makes the trip compromised, and the compromised is the thing that makes the rest harder.

The Labor Day weekend is a popular weekend, and the popular is the thing that makes the early booking necessary. The booking, done in July for the September trip, is the booking that has the options, and the options are the thing that make the choosing possible, and the choosing is the thing that makes the place fit, and the fit is the thing that makes the trip work. The booking, done in August for the September trip, is the booking that has the leftovers, and the leftovers are the things that make the choosing limited, and the limited is the thing that makes the fit harder, and the harder fit is the thing that makes the trip less restful.

The booking is not just the place. It is also the timing, and the timing is the thing that makes the driving and the arriving work. The booking that checks in on Friday afternoon is the booking that requires the Friday driving, and the Friday driving is the driving that is in the traffic, and the traffic is the thing that makes the driving stressful, and the stressful is the thing that starts the trip badly, and the badly is the thing that the preparation is meant to prevent. The booking that checks in on Thursday evening, or Friday morning, is the booking that allows the driving in the off-traffic, and the off-traffic is the thing that makes the driving easier, and the easier is the thing that starts the trip well, and the well is the thing the preparation is for.

The Packing

The packing is the second act of the preparation, and the packing, done well, is the thing that makes the trip comfortable, and the comfortable is the thing that makes the rest possible. The packing is not about bringing everything. It is about bringing the right things, and the right things are the things that make the trip work without the stress of the missing or the burden of the too-much.

The packing list is personal, but there are common things, and the common things are worth naming. The first is the swimwear and the beachwear — the suit, the towel, the hat, the sunscreen — and these are the things that make the beach possible, and the beach is the thing the trip is for. The second is the comfortable clothes — the shorts, the shirts, the sandals, the light jacket for the evening — and these are the things that make the being-there comfortable, and the comfortable is the thing that makes the rest possible. The third is the entertainment — the book, the journal, the music, the game — and these are the things that make the doing-nothing enjoyable, and the enjoyable is the thing that makes the rest good. The fourth is the practical — the phone charger, the medications, the snacks for the drive — and these are the things that make the logistics easy, and the easy is the thing that makes the trip smooth.

The packing, done the day before, is the packing that is calm, and the calm is the thing that makes the packing complete. The packing, done the morning of, is the packing that is rushed, and the rushed is the packing that forgets, and the forgetting is the thing that makes the trip harder, and the harder is the thing the preparation is meant to prevent.

The Driving

The driving is the third act of the preparation, and the driving, done well, is the thing that makes the arriving possible, and the arriving is the thing that makes the being-there begin. The driving is not just the getting-there. It is the transition, and the transition is the thing that moves the body and the mind from the work to the rest, and the moving is the thing that the driving can do, if it is done with the transition in mind.

The driving, done with the transition in mind, is the driving that begins the letting-go. The letting-go is the thing that starts in the car — the turning-off of the work email, the turning-on of the music, the not-checking of the phone — and the letting-go is the thing that makes the arriving the beginning of the rest, rather than the continuation of the work in a different place. The person who drives to the beach town and spends the drive on the phone with the office is the person who arrives at the beach town with the office, and the office is the thing that prevents the rest, and the preventing is the thing the driving, done well, avoids.

The driving with the family is the driving that requires the management, and the management is the thing that makes the driving bearable, and the bearable is the thing that makes the arriving peaceful. The snacks and the games and the music and the stops are the things that make the family driving work, and the work is the thing that makes the driving the first part of the trip rather than the obstacle to the trip, and the first-part is the thing that makes the trip begin well.

The Arriving

The arriving is the fourth act of the preparation, and the arriving, done well, is the thing that makes the being-there begin, and the beginning is the thing that makes the trip the thing it is meant to be. The arriving is not just the getting-to-the-place. It is the settling-in, and the settling-in is the thing that makes the place yours, and the yours is the thing that makes the rest possible, because the place that is not yours is the place that does not let you rest, and the not-letting is the thing that the settling-in addresses.

The arriving, done with the settling-in in mind, is the arriving that takes the time. The unpacking and the looking-around and the walking-to-the-beach and the first-breath-of-the-ocean-air are the things that make the arriving the beginning, and the beginning is the thing that makes the trip start well. The arriving that is rushed — the throwing-down-of-the-bags and the immediate-going-out — is the arriving that does not settle, and the not-settling is the thing that makes the trip feel frantic, and the frantic is the opposite of the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for.

The Preparation as the Foundation

The preparation is the foundation the trip stands on, and the foundation, laid well, is the thing that makes the trip smooth, and the smooth is the thing that makes the rest available. The preparation is not the fun part, but the not-fun is the thing that makes the fun possible, and the possible is the thing that makes the preparation worth doing, and the worth-doing is the thing that makes the trip work. The next chapter is the presence — the being-there-fully — and the presence is the thing that makes the trip restful, and the restful is the thing the trip is for, and the for is the thing the preparation makes possible.

The presence is the thing that makes the trip restful, and the restful is the thing the trip is for, and the for is the thing that the presence provides. This chapter is about the presence — the being-there-fully — and the being-there-fully is the thing that makes the trip the thing it is meant to be, because the body at the beach with the mind at the desk is the body that is not resting, and the not-resting is the thing that wastes the trip, and the wasting is the thing the presence prevents.

What Presence Is

Presence is the being-here, now, fully, and the being-here-now-fully is the thing that makes the experience real, and the real is the thing that makes the experience restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for. Presence is not a mystical state. It is a practical one, and the practical is the thing that makes it available, and the available is the thing that makes it learnable, and the learnable is the thing that makes it doable, and the doable is the thing that this chapter is about.

Presence is the attention, given to the present, rather than the past or the future. The past is the thing that the mind goes to when it is not here — the replaying of the work, the rehashing of the conversation, the regretting of the thing. The future is the thing that the mind goes to when it is not here — the planning of the return, the anticipating of the Monday, the dreading of the email. The present is the thing that is here, now, and the here-now is the thing that the presence is about, and the about is the thing that makes the presence the being-here.

Why Presence Is Hard

Presence is hard because the mind is not built for it, and the not-built-for-it is the thing that makes the mind wander, and the wandering is the thing that makes the presence rare, and the rare is the thing that makes the presence valuable, and the valuable is the thing that makes the presence worth practicing, and the practicing is the thing that makes the presence available, and the available is the thing the trip is for.

The mind is built for the planning and the remembering and the anticipating, and the building is the thing that made the mind useful, and the useful is the thing that made the mind survive, and the surviving is the thing that made you, and you are the thing that is here, and the here is the thing that the mind is not built to stay in, and the not-built-to-stay is the thing that makes the presence the practice, and the practice is the thing that makes the presence possible, even though the mind is not built for it, because the mind, trained, can do what the mind, untrained, cannot, and the training is the practice, and the practice is the thing this chapter is about.

The Practices of Presence

The presence is a practice, and the practice, done consistently, is the thing that makes the presence available, and the available is the thing that makes the trip restful. The practices are simple, and they require the willingness to do them, and the willingness is the thing that is often hard, and the hard is the thing the practice must overcome.

The first practice is the putting-down of the phone. The phone is the thing that takes the mind away, and the taking-away is the thing that prevents the presence, and the preventing is the thing that the putting-down addresses. The putting-down is not the never-using. It is the deliberate, chosen, time-limited not-using, and the not-using is the thing that makes the presence available, and the available is the thing that makes the trip restful. The phone, put down for the morning, is the phone that is not taking the mind, and the not-taking is the thing that makes the morning present, and the present morning is the thing that the rest is made of.

The second practice is the attention to the senses. The senses are the things that are here, now, and the here-now is the thing that the presence is about. The sound of the waves, the feeling of the sand, the smell of the salt air, the sight of the horizon, the taste of the salt on the lip — these are the things that are here, and the here is the thing that the attention, given to them, makes the presence real, and the real is the thing that makes the presence restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

The third practice is the not-doing. The not-doing is the thing that the beach town allows, and the allowing is the thing that makes the not-doing possible, and the possible is the thing that makes the presence available. The not-doing is not the laziness. It is the chosen, intentional, restful not-doing, and the restful not-doing is the thing that the mind and the body need, and the need is the thing that the work does not meet, and the not-meeting is the thing that the burnout is made of, and the burnout is the thing the not-doing addresses, and the addressing is the thing that makes the trip restorative.

The fourth practice is the being-with, when the trip is with the family. The being-with is the thing that the presence, in the family trip, is about, and the about is the thing that makes the family trip the family trip. The being-with is the attention, given to the people, rather than the phone or the work or the planning, and the given is the thing that makes the family feel together, and the together is the thing that the family trip is for, and the for is the thing that the presence provides.

The Obstacles to Presence

The obstacles to presence are real, and the meeting of them is part of the practice. The first obstacle is the work, and the work is the thing that calls, and the calling is the thing that the phone carries, and the carrying is the thing that makes the work available, and the available is the thing that makes the work the temptation, and the temptation is the thing that the putting-down addresses. The work will be there when you return. The beach town will not, and the not is the thing that makes the beach town the priority, and the priority is the thing that the presence honors.

The second obstacle is the habit, and the habit is the thing that the mind does, and the doing is the thing that makes the mind wander, and the wandering is the thing that prevents the presence, and the preventing is the thing that the practice addresses. The habit is old, and the old is the thing that makes the habit strong, and the strong is the thing that makes the habit hard to break, and the hard is the thing that the practice, done consistently, overcomes, and the overcoming is the thing that makes the presence available.

The third obstacle is the guilt, and the guilt is the thing that the culture gives, and the giving is the thing that makes the resting feel wrong, and the wrong is the thing that makes the presence hard, and the hard is the thing that the choosing addresses. The resting is not wrong. The resting is the thing that makes the working possible, and the possible is the thing that the work requires, and the requiring is the thing that makes the resting necessary, and the necessary is the thing that the presence honors, and the honoring is the thing that makes the guilt addressable, and the addressable is the thing that makes the presence available.

The Presence as the Heart of the Trip

The presence is the heart of the trip, because the presence is the thing that makes the trip the thing it is meant to be, and the meant-to-be is the thing that makes the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for. The trip without the presence is the trip that is just a trip, and the just-a-trip is the thing that does not give the rest, and the not-giving is the thing that wastes the trip, and the wasting is the thing the presence prevents. The next chapter is the activities — the things to do and the ways to rest — and the activities are the things that fill the time, and the filling is the thing that makes the time good, and the good is the thing the trip is for, and the for is the thing the presence makes possible.

The activities are the things that fill the time, and the filling is the thing that makes the time good, and the good is the thing the trip is for. This chapter is about the activities — the walking, the swimming, the reading, the eating, the doing-nothing — and the activities, chosen well, are the things that make the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

The Walking

The walking is the first activity, and the first is the thing that the beach town is made for, and the made-for is the thing that makes the walking good. The beach walk is the walk that is on the sand, by the water, with the horizon, and the sand-and-water-and-horizon is the thing that makes the walk restorative, and the restorative is the thing the walk provides. The walk is not exercise, though it is that. The walk is the moving-meditation, and the moving-meditation is the thing that the mind and the body need, and the need is the thing that the walk meets, and the meeting is the thing that makes the walk good.

The walk, done in the morning, is the walk that is in the cool and the quiet, and the cool-and-quiet is the thing that makes the walk peaceful, and the peaceful is the thing that starts the day well. The walk, done in the evening, is the walk that is in the sunset and the softening, and the sunset-and-softening is the thing that makes the walk beautiful, and the beautiful is the thing that ends the day well. The walk, done with the family, is the walk that is the together, and the together is the thing that the family trip is for. The walk, done alone, is the walk that is the solitude, and the solitude is the thing that the solo trip is for.

The Swimming

The swimming is the second activity, and the second is the thing that the beach is for, and the for is the thing that makes the swimming the thing the trip includes. The swimming is not the swimming of the laps. It is the swimming of the ocean, and the ocean-swimming is the thing that is different from the pool-swimming, and the different is the thing that makes the ocean-swimming special, and the special is the thing that makes the swimming worth doing, and the worth-doing is the thing that makes the swimming part of the trip.

The swimming, done with the awareness of the conditions, is the swimming that is safe, and the safe is the thing that makes the swimming good. The conditions — the waves, the current, the depth, the lifeguard — are the things that the swimming must respect, and the respect is the thing that makes the swimming safe, and the safe is the thing that makes the swimming enjoyable, and the enjoyable is the thing the swimming is for. The swimming, done without the awareness, is the swimming that is risky, and the risky is the thing that makes the swimming dangerous, and the dangerous is the thing that the awareness prevents, and the preventing is the thing that makes the swimming safe.

The Reading

The reading is the third activity, and the third is the thing that the rest is made of, and the made-of is the thing that makes the reading the restful activity, and the restful is the thing the trip is for. The reading is the thing that the beach chair and the towel and the shade are for, and the for is the thing that makes the reading the activity that is done while the doing-nothing, and the doing-nothing-while-reading is the thing that is the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for.

The reading, done with the book that is not the work, is the reading that is the escape, and the escape is the thing that makes the reading restful, and the restful is the thing that makes the reading good. The book that is the work is the book that keeps the mind at the desk, and the at-the-desk is the thing that prevents the rest, and the preventing is the thing that the not-the-work addresses. The book that is the novel or the memoir or the nothing-to-do-with-the-work is the book that takes the mind away, and the away is the thing that makes the reading the escape, and the escape is the thing that makes the reading restful, and the restful is the thing the trip is for.

The Eating

The eating is the fourth activity, and the fourth is the thing that the beach town is good at, and the good-at is the thing that makes the eating part of the trip, and the part-of is the thing that makes the eating the experience, and the experience is the thing that the trip is about. The eating at the beach town is the eating of the seafood and the ice cream and the things that the beach town does well, and the doing-well is the thing that makes the eating good, and the good is the thing that makes the eating part of the rest, because the eating that is good and slow and shared is the eating that is restful, and the restful is the thing the trip is for.

The eating, done slowly, is the eating that is the experience, and the experience is the thing that makes the eating more than the fuel, and the more-than-the-fuel is the thing that makes the eating part of the trip. The eating that is rushed is the eating that is the fuel, and the fuel is the thing that is the work-eating, and the work-eating is the thing that the trip is meant to be different from, and the different is the thing that the slow-eating provides, and the providing is the thing that makes the eating part of the rest.

The Doing-Nothing

The doing-nothing is the fifth activity, and the fifth is the thing that the trip is most for, and the most-for is the thing that makes the doing-nothing the activity that is the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for. The doing-nothing is not the laziness. It is the chosen, intentional, restful not-doing, and the restful not-doing is the thing that the mind and the body need, and the need is the thing that the work does not meet, and the not-meeting is the thing that the burnout is made of, and the burnout is the thing the doing-nothing addresses, and the addressing is the thing that makes the doing-nothing the most important activity, and the most-important is the thing that makes the doing-nothing the heart of the trip.

The doing-nothing is the lying on the beach, the sitting on the porch, the looking at the ocean, the being-without-the-doing, and the being-without-the-doing is the thing that the mind and the body rest in, and the resting-in is the thing that restores, and the restoring is the thing the trip is for. The doing-nothing is hard, at first, for the person who is used to the doing, and the used-to-the-doing is the thing that makes the doing-nothing feel wrong, and the wrong is the thing that the practice addresses, and the practice is the thing that makes the doing-nothing available, and the available is the thing that makes the doing-nothing the rest, and the rest is the thing the trip is for.

The Activities as the Filling of the Time

The activities are the filling of the time, and the filling is the thing that makes the time good, and the good is the thing the trip is for. The activities, chosen well, are the things that make the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing that the activities provide. The next chapter is the return — the bringing of the calm home — and the return is the thing that makes the trip last, and the lasting is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing the whole book is for.

The return is the thing that makes the trip last, and the lasting is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing that the return provides. This chapter is about the return — the bringing of the calm home, the integrating of the experience, the not-losing of the thing the trip gave — and the return, done well, is the thing that makes the trip more than a trip, and the more-than-a-trip is the thing that makes the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

What the Return Is

The return is not just the driving-back. The driving-back is the logistics, and the logistics are the thing that gets the body home, and the home is the thing that the body returns to, but the return that this chapter is about is the return of the calm, and the calm is the thing that the trip gave, and the giving is the thing that the return is meant to keep, and the keeping is the thing that makes the trip last, and the lasting is the thing that makes the trip worth taking.

The return is the work of bringing the restful state — the state that the trip produced — back into the life that the trip was a break from, and the bringing is the thing that makes the restful state survive the re-entry, and the surviving is the thing that makes the trip more than a memory, and the more-than-a-memory is the thing that makes the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

The Re-Entry

The re-entry is the first part of the return, and the re-entry is the thing that happens when the trip ends and the life resumes, and the resuming is the thing that can take the calm, and the taking is the thing that the re-entry must prevent, and the preventing is the thing that makes the calm survive.

The re-entry, done well, is the re-entry that is gradual, and the gradual is the thing that makes the re-entry gentle, and the gentle is the thing that makes the calm survive. The re-entry that is sudden — the driving-back on Monday morning and the walking-into-the-office on Monday afternoon — is the re-entry that is a shock, and the shock is the thing that takes the calm, and the taking is the thing that makes the trip feel like it did not happen, and the not-happened is the thing that the gradual re-entry prevents.

The gradual re-entry is the re-entry that includes the buffer, and the buffer is the thing that makes the re-entry gentle, and the gentle is the thing that makes the calm survive. The buffer is the evening at home before the return to the work, or the morning of the unpacking and the resting before the afternoon of the emails, or the day off that follows the trip, and the day-off is the thing that makes the re-entry gradual, and the gradual is the thing that makes the calm last, and the lasting is the thing the return is for.

The Keeping of the Calm

The keeping of the calm is the second part of the return, and the keeping is the thing that makes the calm survive the re-entry, and the surviving is the thing that makes the trip last, and the lasting is the thing that makes the trip worth taking. The keeping is not the holding-on, and the holding-on is the thing that is impossible, and the impossible is the thing that makes the holding-on fail, and the failing is the thing that makes the keeping seem impossible, and the seeming-impossible is the thing that the keeping, done well, addresses, because the keeping is not the holding-on but the returning-to, and the returning-to is the thing that makes the calm available, and the available is the thing that makes the calm survive.

The returning-to is the practice of the things that the trip was made of, and the things are the things that can be done at home, and the home-doing is the thing that makes the calm available, and the available is the thing that makes the calm survive. The walking, done at home, is the returning-to the thing that the trip was made of, and the walking at home is the thing that is not the beach walk but is the walk, and the walk is the thing that the mind and the body rest in, and the resting-in is the thing that restores, and the restoring is the thing that the returning-to provides. The reading, done at home, is the returning-to, and the reading at home is the thing that is the escape, and the escape is the thing that the mind needs, and the needing is the thing that the reading meets, and the meeting is the thing that makes the calm available. The doing-nothing, done at home, is the returning-to, and the doing-nothing at home is the thing that is the rest, and the rest is the thing that the mind and the body need, and the needing is the thing that the doing-nothing meets, and the meeting is the thing that makes the calm survive.

The Integrating of the Experience

The integrating of the experience is the third part of the return, and the integrating is the thing that makes the experience a part of the life, and the part-of-the-life is the thing that makes the experience more than a memory, and the more-than-a-memory is the thing that makes the experience restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

The integrating is done by the reflecting, and the reflecting is the thing that makes the experience understood, and the understood is the thing that makes the experience integrated, and the integrated is the thing that makes the experience a part of the life. The reflecting is the asking: what did the trip give me? What did I notice? What did I learn? What do I want to keep? The asking, done after the trip, is the thing that makes the experience understood, and the understood is the thing that makes the experience integrated, and the integrated is the thing that makes the experience a part of the life, and the part-of-the-life is the thing that makes the experience restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

The reflecting can be the journaling, or the conversation, or the thinking-while-walking, and the form does not matter, and the not-mattering is the thing that makes the reflecting available to everyone, and the available is the thing that makes the reflecting doable, and the doable is the thing that makes the reflecting part of the return, and the part-of-the-return is the thing that makes the return complete, and the complete is the thing that makes the trip last.

The Not-Losing of the Thing the Trip Gave

The not-losing is the fourth part of the return, and the not-losing is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing that the not-losing provides, and the providing is the thing that makes the trip more than a trip, and the more-than-a-trip is the thing that makes the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

The not-losing is not the never-losing, because the losing is the thing that happens, and the happening is the thing that the work and the life produce, and the producing is the thing that makes the calm fade, and the fading is the thing that the not-losing addresses, and the addressing is the thing that makes the calm returnable-to, and the returnable-to is the thing that makes the calm not lost but available, and the available is the thing that makes the calm survive, and the surviving is the thing that makes the trip last, and the lasting is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing the whole book is for.

A Final Word

The beach town on Labor Day is a place to relax with your family or on your own, and the relaxing is the thing that this book has been about, and the about is the thing that makes the relaxing available, and the available is the thing that makes the relaxing doable, and the doable is the thing that makes the trip worth taking, and the worth-taking is the thing that the book is for. The choosing, the preparation, the presence, the activities, the return — these are the chapters, and the chapters, together, are the work of the trip, and the work, done, is the thing that makes the trip the thing it is meant to be, and the meant-to-be is the thing that makes the trip restorative, and the restorative is the thing the trip is for.

You did not choose the exhaustion that made the trip necessary. You can choose, in the moment you begin the planning, to do the work the trip requires, and the work, done, is the thing that gives you the rest you needed, and the needing, honored, is the thing the whole book is for, and the book is now yours, and the trip is now yours, and the resting, done, is the thing that makes it so.

— Dr. David K. Lubega, LICSW, LCSW-C